| Multitasking: | You can crash several programs all at once. No waiting! | |
| Built-in Networking: | You can crash several PC's all at once. No need to buy Novell Personal Netware or LANtastic to crash. | |
| Microsoft Network: | Connect with other Windows 95 users and talk about your crash experiences. Support groups in different cities will be organized. | |
| PnP: | Plug and Pray (that it works) | |
| Multimedia: | Experience the immense sight and sound of crashing. Compatible with existing software. It will also crash your existing software. | |
| Increased Productivity: | You will need to *increase* your budget to buy more *products* like RAM and HardDrives. Better yet, get a new computer ! That's product-ivity. | |
| User-Friendly: | Picture of clouds | |
| State of the Art: | Pay for Bill's next bid for a work of art. | |
| MacIntosh-like: | It took Microsoft eleven years and it's not even original. | |
| Online Registration: | Dial into Microsoft and let them snoop around your harddrive. This will guarantee you a place in Microsoft's files for the rest of your life. | |
| MS Plus: | More money for Bill's plus side. | |
| Optimize: | It will increase the utilization of your hard drive and cpu so much so that you'll end up upgrading your system. | |
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