Pussy vs. Beer

A beer is always wet. 
A pussy needs encouragement. 
Advantage: Beer. 

A beer tastes horrible served hot. 
A pussy tastes better served hot. 
Advantage: Pussy. 

Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied. Having an ice
cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton. 
Advantage: Beer. 

Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones. 
Pussy does not. 
Advantage: Draw. 

If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pussy, you are not
disgusted. 
Advantage: Pussy 

24 beers come in a box. 
A pussy is a box you can come in. 
Advantage: Pussy. 

Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a
beer. 
Advantage: Pussy. 

If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible. 
Advantage: Beer. 

If you come home smelling like beer, your wife may get mad. 
If you come home smelling like pussy, she will definitely
get mad. 
Advantage: Beer. 

6 beers in a night and you better not drive. 
6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you
need. 
Advantage: Pussy 

Buy too much beer and you will get fat. 
Buy too much pussy and you will get poor. 
Advantage: Draw 

It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a
football game. 
You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a
football game. 
Advantage: Pussy 

If a cop smells beer on your breath, you are going to get a
breathalyzer. 
If a cop smells pussy on your breath, you are going to get a
high five. 
Advantage: Pussy 

With beer, bigger is better. 
Advantage: Beer. 

Wearing a condom does not make a beer any less enjoyable. 
Advantage: Beer. 

Beer can make you see the porcelain God. 
Pussy can make you see God. 
Advantage: Pussy 

If you think all day about your next beer, you are 
an alcoholic. 
If you think all day about the next pussy you will have, you
are normal. 
Advantage: Pussy 

Peeling labels off of beers is fun. 
Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun. 
Advantage: Pussy. 

If you try to snag a beer at work, you get fired. 
If you try to snag a pussy at work, you get hit with sexual
harassment. 
Advantage: Draw 

If you suddenly drop a beer, it may break. 
If you suddenly drop a pussy, it may hunt you down like the
dog you are. 
Advantage: Beer. 

If you change to another beer, your old brand will gladly
have you back. 
Advantage: beer. 

The best pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have
enjoyed it. 
Advantage: Pussy. 

The worst pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have
enjoyed it. 
Advantage: Beer. 

Bad beer: Schlitz, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Old Swill. 
Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright, Dana Doran 
Advantage: Draw 

Good beer: Guinness, Sam Adams, New Castle. 
Good pussy: Almost all but the above. 
Advantage: Pussy. 

The government taxes beer. 
Advantage: Pussy. 

It's a close call, but the numbers never lie. 
Advantage: Pussy.

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